2.22.2004 - Rainiest. Day. Ever.

At least I succeeded in not spending all of the salary that I got last week. Maybe I'll even make it until the end of this month without having to live off of the generosity of others.

I'm not really looking forward to next week, I will spend half of it in the Education office. I've got those days already planned out.

8:59 - Arrive extremely out of breath right before the 9:00 chime sounds.
9 - 10:30 - Sit around feeling hungry, read books and mess around with my computer.
10:30 - 10:35 - Buy yogurt drink from building yogurt lady while she makes her rounds.
10:35 - 11:00 - Study a little.
11 - 12 - Watch the clock for an hour.
12 - 1 - Sweet, sweet, lunch.
1 - 2 - Struggle not to fall asleep.
2 - 3 - Study.

Ah, ennui. Note that despite the 5 available hours spent at the office, only about 1.5 of them are spent towards any useful purpose. It just wouldn't be a normal work day if I didn't waste at least 60% of my time there.

And to all those naysayers who say that I am, in fact, a corrupting influence on the children of Japan, I offer this proof:

I can only actually claim to teaching them "West Side", and not the bird. It's good to know that now if my students wander into the wrong neighborhood in Los Angeles, they will know how to get themselves immediately shot.

And some other random photos taken on Friday that I find amusing. These girls made me take their photo about 10 times, but not once did they escape the hand. Of course, the body attached to the hand did not escape the girls' wrath either.

Don't you think it's about time you left (a) ?

2.14.2004 - The post that was felt around the world

I've managed to come down from my 102.4 fever that came upon me the night after eating fishy heads (coincidence? or a conspiracy to end this English teacher's life...), and I ended up missing school on Friday. I hate missing school, or work in general, it usually makes me feel like I've let people down. And in the case of the students, I probably did, as there's no replacement ALT to call in. And what did I manage do during my fever-ridden Friday the 13th? Drink about 1/2 a liter of orange juice, and a 1/2 liter of aquarius, listened to the Chronic, and the m-flo remix of Utada Hikaru's "Distance" (well-recommended, by the way). All in all, highly unproductive. I plan to make up for it today by doing laundry and possibly watching a rented movie. Boy, the foreign lifestyle sure can be exciting when you're broke.

So far I have gotten no 義理チョコ (giri chocolate - a kind of obligatory chocolate given by members of the opposite gender on Valentine's Day). Rather than leading me to believe that no one gives a rat's ass, I instead assume that all the members of the fairer persuasion don't know where to send the chocolates. Fear not! Simply send the chocolates in my name to the 3rd Mori building in Yawatahama, and all will be well.

Speaking of my apartment, look at what the lovely children do to me everytime they meet at their cram school immediately below me. I love moving/knocking over 10 or so bikes everytime I want to leave my apartment. Oh well, at least I don't feel as bad when I cheat them out of a proper English education. I mean.... uh.... oh forget it.

On the plus side, a Lawsons convenience store has opened right next to my apartment. I could chuck a rock off my balcony and hit the store. Not that I would ever do that to a Lawsons mind you. But I could. Now I can satisfy my late night cravings for prepackaged crap without having to walk for more than 2 minutes. Assuming I have the money to afford such said goods. These people even sent me a moving into the neighborhood package. No 義理チョコ, but at least I get 義理towels. I can use them to dry the tears from my stinging choco rebuttal.

Realizing that I have actually done absolutely nothing of interest since my last post, it's time to regale you all with another crappy quiz! Whoo!!! If anyone actually manages to answer every question here correctly, they win... a free week of room and board at cheateau Tom, redeemable anytime this year.

1. Nikhil is repping which hood? a. West Side b. South Side c. Middle Eastern side d. East Side	2. What is Nathalie doing to Will? a. Humping his leg like an overzealous labrador b. Trying to lift him off the ground c. Shaking the loose change out of his pockets d. Attempting to dance with him
3. Tom is about to: a. deliver his classic "滅殺" finishing blow b. get beaten like a red-headed stepchild c. run away like a little girl d. scream that he's a hemophiliac, and then jab Matt in the face with a giant foam q-tip when he drops his guard out of disgust	4. Where is this? a. Kagoshima b. Aomori c. Nagasaki d. Himeji
5. Who's the girl next to the hippie? a. Future hegemon of the universe b. Aomori's #1 ALT c. Former world heavyweight boxing champion George Foreman. d. A very assertive brown belt in shorinji kempo.	6. Admiral Ackbar: "______" a. Ackbar for president! b. Where's my calamari? c. One well-placed proton torpedo should do it. d. It's a trap!!

For the love of God, leave me (a) .

2.12.2004 - 世界に一つだけのトム

What a fun week it's been so far. Today I woke up approximately 5 minutes later than necessary to run out of the house and catch the 7:26 train to Ozu. Today I have taken the radical route of calling a taxi, rather than calling my supervisor and making a complete ass of myself. Ouch. Hopefully the $35 one-way taxi fare will motivate me to make the extra effort to wake up 5 minutes earlier. Tuesday was another great travel day, where my usual 25 min commute to Ozu was turned into a two and a half boredom fest when a traffic light on the line broke down. I eventually ended up calling the school to pick me up, since the train didn't seem to be going anywhere. Assuming that they fixed the problem by the time my school day ended, I foolishly went back to the train station, where I found out that I had to instead walk to a bus stop on the other side of town. Yay.

Today I decided to partake of a tea drink known as Gogo no koucha, based on the recommendations of a Ms. Aya Matsuura. I figure if a cute girl like Ayaya likes it, there's no reason I shouldn't try it. She would only recommend it if she thought I would enjoy it, right? Of course. Turns out to be pretty tasty stuff too. It also turns out that I'm a tool of modern advertising. Though I still have yet to buy anything based on the recommendations of David Beckham, whose grizzled face and right foot have been gracing my TV for months now. Of course, I can't store any of this koucha in my refridgerator, which has either been possessed by a malevolent spirit or the body of some decaying animal, I am uncertain which it is at this point. I would clean it out, but since kitchen garbage day isn't until tomorrow, but all I would really be doing is shifting the incredible stench from a confined to a not so confined area. Maybe I'll call the mormons who were prosleytizing me a couple of months ago over for a good old-fashioned exorcism. Or maybe I'll just never open the fridge again. Both are highly viable options.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I happily extended my contract with the JET program, which means that I will be here for another 18 months at the least. Yay! I'm sure this is of great importance to all three of my loyal readers. So once again, no excuses will be brooked for people claiming to not have enough time to visit lovely Yawatahama. You can even come to my schools and rise to the stature of a semi-deity (especially if you are over 6 feet tall).

This is what you're missing out on:

It seems like my cousins Mark and Terry both got letters back from the L.A. consulate saying that they won't be given an interview for the JET program for this year. Considering that they are both probably overqualified for the position, it only makes sense that they would be skipped over in favor of less-talented individuals. Mark will probably look for work at one of the many English conversation schools scattered throughout Japan, in which I wish him the best of luck. At least with a conversation school he'll have his choice of where he wants to live. Mmmmm, kansai.

Lunch update: The fish heads have returned in the school lunch!! NOOOOOOO!!!! I've been free of their vile influence for about 4 months now, but all good things must come to an end. Oh well, I suppose it's good practice for when I need to eat something and *not* vomit.

Mark wants his page to be read, and asked me to beseech my three readers to spend an extra few minutes to navigate his page. So please do. More coherent, and intelligent, writing. Good luck navigating the image map though. ;)

Increase your karma! Leave (a) .

2.2.2004 - Tom: The man, the myth, the legend.

So who can tell what's wrong with this package?

Mmmmm, go go basic English skills. My initial thought process was something along the lines of: "What's taking these morons so long to send a simple package anyway? It says the address right on there, and it's not like I didn't tell them what country to send it to". I'm now wondering if I made the same mistake with some of the letters that I've sent that haven't gotten through to their state-side recipients.

In unrelated news, I found out yesterday from Nathalie's friend Ai that Yoshinoya is now in the deep end due to Japan's recent ban on all US imported beef. This article only serves to confirm the dreaded rumor. There goes about 90% of my late night meals. I am decidedly nonplussed.

Speaking of Nathalie and Ai, they both came over to my place yesterday and we watched the movie Hero. One of the most visually enthralling films that I've seen in a long time. The vivid use of color and contrast throughout the film was incredible. And of course, tons of wire fighting action along the lines of Crouching Tiger, but even more artistically done, if you can picture that. The action scene in the forest stands out particularly in my mind. In addition (despite?) to being a great action film, the story is pretty good. The film starts with a very Rashomon style of storytelling, which I found worked pretty well.

On a much more shallow note, as Hero shows, Zhang Ziyi has also once again proven that yes, she is still incredibly hot. She and Matsushima Nanako can have a choreographed wirefighting scene over a still lake for the sake of my love anytime. Or maybe a three way duel among the treetops with Abe Natsumi. I can picture it now...

Who will live? Who will die?

No one but little sister Jane left me a comment on my last post. And someone obsessed with feces. They are the only ones who will be spared my wrath.

Since no one decided to deign my site with an answer to my thoughtfully posted quiz, as of this date today, there will be NO COOKIES AWARDED. Yes, all cookie privileges have been rescinded. I do indeed wield that kind of power.

Feel free to make up for your previous indiscretions by leaving me (a) .

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